Quotes from sportscasters that are so obvious that the only thing you can think to say is "No Shit!"
Situation- Kerry Wood has struggled with injuries throughout his career, being placed on the disabled list 14 times in the 13 seasons of his major league career.
Quote-"Kerry Wood turned out to have a few physical issues."
Situation- Bottom 9, men on 2nd and 3rd, two out, 2 strikes. Papelbon throws a ball.
Quote-"Papelbon definitely wanted that strikeout."
Situation- Andy Roddick just set the world record for hitting a tennis ball 155 mph.
Quote- "Voltchkov couldn't quite get to that that serve."
Situation- During the Ryder Cup, Tiger Woods was about to chip a shot that was about 75 feet from the pin.
Quote- "He's gotta be careful not to over-swing."
Situation- The Chicago Bears had several penalties in the 2nd half during their game against the NY football Giants.
Quote - "13 2nd half penalties...all in the 2nd half, that's way too many many."
Friday, October 29, 2010
The Rule is.....
Detroit Lions Head Coach Jim Schwartz commenting on the controversial last play of the game between the Lions and the Bears...
"If you're going to the ground in the process of making a catch, you need to finish with the football." -Schwartz. Absolutely...you do. No question about it. And Schwartz has a great resume to back that quote up.
Head Coach of an NFL team? Check.
Georgetown graduate? Check.
Coaching in the NFL since 1993? Check.
Knows defense and offense every which way possible? Check.
These are reasons I should trust Jim Schwartz's comments.
Except I don't trust grown men that wear an earring.
Because...A) you're not in Myrtle Beach. 2) you're not 17. And D) well I just don't trust grown men that sport an earring.
"If you're going to the ground in the process of making a catch, you need to finish with the football." -Schwartz. Absolutely...you do. No question about it. And Schwartz has a great resume to back that quote up.
Head Coach of an NFL team? Check.
Georgetown graduate? Check.
Coaching in the NFL since 1993? Check.
Knows defense and offense every which way possible? Check.
These are reasons I should trust Jim Schwartz's comments.
Except I don't trust grown men that wear an earring.
Because...A) you're not in Myrtle Beach. 2) you're not 17. And D) well I just don't trust grown men that sport an earring.
Joe Buck talked about Jose Morales defecting from Cuba…
“It was a tough road for Morales. He tried to defect from Cuba 12 times…he was successful the 12th time.”
Yeah I heard that road from Cuba to the US can be a bitch. And telling me he tried 12 times and was successful the 12th time is like when someone loses something and another person says, “It’s always the last place you look.”
Has anyone seen the commercial where Morgan Freeman has an earring? About time, it is 2010.
Alex Rodriguez reported to Spring Training the other day and said that his hip is feeling great. The headline in The NY Post was “A-OK”. Have we officially run out of words that begin with “A” when trying to come up with Alex Rodriguez headlines?
Watching baseball players pop sunflower seeds is like watching my 5 year old niece eat ice cream in August.
Tim McCarver- “Andy Pettitte’s about as easy to read as Greek is.” Joke to follow.
Sometime before the 7th inning Ozzie Guillen will offend, at a minimum, 4 ethnicities…and maybe by then his eyes will be a little less bloodshot from all the bong hits.
Professions that should have the highest paid salaries…doctors, teachers and hockey play by play announcers.
NASCAR Sprint Cup…Las Vegas
Jimmie Johnson- “This track makes me feel a little uncomfortable.”
Jimmie, you’re driving 250 mph in a circle with 50 other cars doing the same thing…that makes ME feel a little uncomfortable…and I’m sitting on my couch.
“It was a tough road for Morales. He tried to defect from Cuba 12 times…he was successful the 12th time.”
Yeah I heard that road from Cuba to the US can be a bitch. And telling me he tried 12 times and was successful the 12th time is like when someone loses something and another person says, “It’s always the last place you look.”
Has anyone seen the commercial where Morgan Freeman has an earring? About time, it is 2010.
Alex Rodriguez reported to Spring Training the other day and said that his hip is feeling great. The headline in The NY Post was “A-OK”. Have we officially run out of words that begin with “A” when trying to come up with Alex Rodriguez headlines?
Watching baseball players pop sunflower seeds is like watching my 5 year old niece eat ice cream in August.
Tim McCarver- “Andy Pettitte’s about as easy to read as Greek is.” Joke to follow.
Sometime before the 7th inning Ozzie Guillen will offend, at a minimum, 4 ethnicities…and maybe by then his eyes will be a little less bloodshot from all the bong hits.
Professions that should have the highest paid salaries…doctors, teachers and hockey play by play announcers.
NASCAR Sprint Cup…Las Vegas
Jimmie Johnson- “This track makes me feel a little uncomfortable.”
Jimmie, you’re driving 250 mph in a circle with 50 other cars doing the same thing…that makes ME feel a little uncomfortable…and I’m sitting on my couch.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Intentional walks and Coaches' Challenges...
Alright, here’s my take on intentional walks in baseball and coaches challenging calls in an NFL game.
As far as intentional walks go, I completely understand that sometimes it’s in a team’s best interest to walk a guy who’s in the zone or walking someone to set up a double play or force out. That being said, the pitchers are professional pitchers. That’s what they do. Before an intentional walk, the pitcher should have to get on a microphone, in front of a packed house, and say to the batter, “I don’t think there’s any way I could strike you out.”
In the Monday Night Football game this week, New York Giants Head Coach Tom Coughlin challenged two calls made by the referees early in the game. He won both challenges. At that point, as the ref comes back to the field to explain the outcome and says New York will not be charged a timeout, he should have to end it with, “And Coach Coughlin, I’m sorry…you were right, I was wrong, totally my bad. ” In a game, coaches are allowed to throw the challenge flag twice. Coughlin used both of his challenges in the 1st half and again, won both of them. Now he’s out of challenges for the rest of the game. That wouldn’t make me feel too comfortable as a head coach. “I’ve corrected you twice already and now I have to go the rest of the game hoping you don’t screw anymore calls up, because I’m out of challenges.” If you go 2 for 2 in challenges, you should be allowed to keep challenging plays until you’re wrong.
Turns out I’m a big fan of “microphone use” as a problem solver. That being said, there have been a few instances where karaoke has NOT solved my problems.
As far as intentional walks go, I completely understand that sometimes it’s in a team’s best interest to walk a guy who’s in the zone or walking someone to set up a double play or force out. That being said, the pitchers are professional pitchers. That’s what they do. Before an intentional walk, the pitcher should have to get on a microphone, in front of a packed house, and say to the batter, “I don’t think there’s any way I could strike you out.”
In the Monday Night Football game this week, New York Giants Head Coach Tom Coughlin challenged two calls made by the referees early in the game. He won both challenges. At that point, as the ref comes back to the field to explain the outcome and says New York will not be charged a timeout, he should have to end it with, “And Coach Coughlin, I’m sorry…you were right, I was wrong, totally my bad. ” In a game, coaches are allowed to throw the challenge flag twice. Coughlin used both of his challenges in the 1st half and again, won both of them. Now he’s out of challenges for the rest of the game. That wouldn’t make me feel too comfortable as a head coach. “I’ve corrected you twice already and now I have to go the rest of the game hoping you don’t screw anymore calls up, because I’m out of challenges.” If you go 2 for 2 in challenges, you should be allowed to keep challenging plays until you’re wrong.
Turns out I’m a big fan of “microphone use” as a problem solver. That being said, there have been a few instances where karaoke has NOT solved my problems.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
I LOVE.....
…that NFL Broadcaster Merrill Hodge owns the best and fattest tie knot known to man…and also one of the strangest first names.
…Chase Utley all day long. In the bottom of the 3rd, with no outs in Game 6 in the NLCS, Utley was hit in the back by a pitch from Jonathan Sanchez. Utley was jogging to first when the ball caromed to him and he nonchalantly tossed it back to the mound. Sanchez took offense, looked at Utley at first base and screamed something along the lines of “Excuse me sir, I really don’t appreciate that.” Hearing this, Utley looked back at Sanchez and said something along the lines of “I’m shocked by your reaction, are you sure that you took my action as something demeaning?” Benches cleared. An option for hitters when they think they were intentionally thrown at; get hit, jog to 1st, take your lead…casually walk back to 1st… cock back and throw a haymaker to the 1st baseman square in the ribs. Base runner to the 1st baseman- “Didn’t see that coming? Neither did I.” At first it might sound ridiculous…but think about it.
…the faces of the players on the winning team after realizing that they’re going to the World Series. You can’t put it into words…and I know…having…ughh…never been there before. …endzone celebrations that are warranted. David Bowens intercepted two passes this weekend and ran them back for touchdowns. One of which, he stopped at the goal line and somersaulted into the end-zone. And ya know what? Good for him. He’s played football his entire life and at 33, deserves a somersault. And that is probably the first and last time somebody will use the word “somersault” twice in a paragraph. That being said, I’d like to apologize to Romania’s women’s play-by-play gymnastics radio personal
…Chase Utley all day long. In the bottom of the 3rd, with no outs in Game 6 in the NLCS, Utley was hit in the back by a pitch from Jonathan Sanchez. Utley was jogging to first when the ball caromed to him and he nonchalantly tossed it back to the mound. Sanchez took offense, looked at Utley at first base and screamed something along the lines of “Excuse me sir, I really don’t appreciate that.” Hearing this, Utley looked back at Sanchez and said something along the lines of “I’m shocked by your reaction, are you sure that you took my action as something demeaning?” Benches cleared. An option for hitters when they think they were intentionally thrown at; get hit, jog to 1st, take your lead…casually walk back to 1st… cock back and throw a haymaker to the 1st baseman square in the ribs. Base runner to the 1st baseman- “Didn’t see that coming? Neither did I.” At first it might sound ridiculous…but think about it.
…the faces of the players on the winning team after realizing that they’re going to the World Series. You can’t put it into words…and I know…having…ughh…never been there before. …endzone celebrations that are warranted. David Bowens intercepted two passes this weekend and ran them back for touchdowns. One of which, he stopped at the goal line and somersaulted into the end-zone. And ya know what? Good for him. He’s played football his entire life and at 33, deserves a somersault. And that is probably the first and last time somebody will use the word “somersault” twice in a paragraph. That being said, I’d like to apologize to Romania’s women’s play-by-play gymnastics radio personal
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