Andre Johnson vs Cortland Finnegan

Cortland Finnegan has a reputation of being called for unsportsmanlike conduct penalties (4 this season). Andre Johnson doesn't have that rep. They were both worthy of suspensions after their street fight during the Texans/Titans game on Sunday. The NFL decided to only fine both players instead of issuing suspensions. Conveniently, the Texans are playing the Eagles Thursday night...a game only televised on the NFL Network, obviously owned by the NFL. Imagine the ratings if the Texans most popular player, Johnson, wasn't suiting up for the game. Shockingly, he'll be in the starting lineup. Ratings versus integrity...money always wins. Finnegan and Johnson, thank the guy who makes the schedule. And Finnegan...thank the ref that separated Johnson from you.

I love me some Charlie Sheen reactions

• Overhearing about Charlie's escapade at The Plaza... randon guy- "Can we please bust him out of rehab and hang out with him?"

• Quote from a bathroom attendant that walked in the bathroom where Sheen was...

-"When the assistant opened the door, there was Charlie standing there naked with cocaine all over his face."

My question is...when you're walked in on like that, what's the call? What situation are you taking care of first?

Pants....

• There are few things in the world that scare me more than teenagers walking around on Halloween


• If I say that I'm really impressed with people that are great at crossword puzzles, does that instantly make me sound a little bit stupid?


• What's the protocol when you see a guy walking down the street and his fly's down? Head nod. Eye contact. Mid contact. Double Head nod? Or just grab the guy by the shoulder and zip the fly up. And then figure out which one of your boys are gunna go to the ATM for $500.

Quick Hits...

• Swedish telecom giant TeliaSonera yesterday started offering 3G cell and internet service on the 29,029-foot peak of Mount Everest. Oh thank god.
• There was a category in Jeopardy where the answer had to begin with an "F". The name of the category was "F" In Geography. "I'll take F-in Geography for $500 Alex."
• Ya know what old men in the the locker room at the gym love to do? ...talk to you while they're completely ass naked. Ya know what else they love to do?...not give a shit whether you like it or not.

NYC Quick Thoughts...

• I gave $5 to a homeless man a few days ago. I walked by him yesterday and he was sitting in the same spot...enjoying a movie on his portable DVD player. Can I get my five bucks back please? Did he steal it? Either that or I missed an incredible sale at Best Buy over the weekend.

• (I get into a cab around Union Square)

Me- Just take a left at the next light.
Cabbie- Ok.
(we proceed to drive by the left hand turn)
Me- Where are we going?
Cabbie- This way. (and points forward)
Me- I can see that. Why are we going this way?
Cabbie- Because you told me to go straight at the light.
Me- No, I said go left.
Cabbie- No, you said go straight...you wanna bet?
Me- Ugh, what?

• I really don't wanna hate the people on the sidwalk that stop you in stride, get in front of you and try to get you to donate a minimum of $20 to charities right on the spot...but I do.

• The other day I walked into a corner deli, picked up the paper, read the front page headline and without even thinking, put it in my bag and walked over to order a sandwich. I get to the counter to pay and the guy was like, "Anything else?" I was like,"Yeah, the paper." He handed me one and I was like, "I've already got one right he-..." I started looking for it, couldn't find it, realized it was in my bag...opened my bag and said "Oh..ugh...this...too." And hesitantly put it back in my bag as I was given a much deserved staredown from the guy behind the counter.